Are You A “Spread My Ashes” Kind Of Person?

I don’t know how long I have been a “spread my ashes” kind of person but my guess is that it has been since my grandmother’s death and visiting the cemetery with my grandfather sometime in my early years. We placed flowers in a thin vase attached to a small engraved box somewhere in the middle of a large wall filled with other engraved boxes.

Something about the thought of being buried and rotting away in the ground does not appeal to me at all so cremation it will be. I won’t need my body where I’m going anyway. And I’d rather have my loved ones come spend time with my memories somewhere full of life and beauty.

I know where I want my ashes to be spread, in the talus field with this view. I visit this spot every year and usually enjoy dinner as the sun paints the surrounding summits warm colors. Last year was no exception and sitting here each time seems to signal that the world is still alright. The thought of having my ashes float on the wind here and settling down to rest is comforting. I don’t know what heaven will look like but I’d like to imagine it this way.

It is not, unfortunately, a short day hike for most people but doable on a long summer day for those with motivation (12+ miles). And who knows, maybe it will encourage my non-hiking son to take up the outdoors. That or I may have to find a secondary, more accessible spot for some ashes to be scattered but that location has not presented itself yet. Maybe the beach?

We said good-bye to our cat of 19 years back in November and I had him cremated, too. The hope is to spread his ashes somewhere wild, a place as wild as he always was so we can imagine him stalking birds and roaming free.

I imagine we really don’t have to spread our ashes in special places for our loved ones to think of us when they go there, it is more for us while we are still living to feel like we have a little control over something that we really don’t have any control over once we are gone.

Or maybe it is a part of the grieving process when it is hard to let go and we want to do all we can even if it is after our loved one is gone. We want others to remember us in happy times or to remember our loved ones at theirs. I don’t want to think of myself lying cold in the ground for eternity but rather out doing the things I loved.

How about you? Are you a “spread your ashes” kind of person? If so, do you know where you want to have them scattered in the wind?

On a side but somewhat related note, I just finished watching After Life by Rick Gervais on Netflix. It was amazing, such rich character development and example of how we are all so flawed and imperfect. If you are not familiar with the actor/comedian, he is an unapologetic atheist. The main character in the story carries this theme and the plot is that he lost his wife of 25 years and doesn’t know how to live without her and struggles to do so. Without giving too much away because I want you to watch it, there is a point later in the series where the main character is thinking about how he argued with his wife about the existence of the after life and God when she wanted to believe, saying that he regrets it because he doesn’t want to think she may have been scared at the end of her life. I can’t help but wonder if his struggle with her death would have been different if he had the belief himself of an after life. I don’t think that is what Gervais was trying to say and if you have watched the series, what did you think?

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