Make New Friends And Keep The Old: Playing Hookie on Hex

One of the things I did when I went back to my work last fall was promise myself that it would not get in the way of my hiking. Nothing I do is that important that I can’t take advantage of sunny days or friends’ invites to get outdoors. The money isn’t worth it, either.

So, when I check the weather and see a little sun icon in a line of grey clouds and raindrops, my coworkers know if I call in “sick”, I am taking a mental health day and can be found on a slope somewhere. Luckily, I rarely ever get actually sick…

My hike to Hex Mountain was one such day and it did more than get my heart rate up, it brought sunshine to my soul.

Sitting up on top of the summit with some good hiking friends, with sunglasses on to shield us from the sun, we laughed and caught up on life.

Elle showed me her first aid kit, having read my post on wilderness first aid. She carries more than I do, even things like Epi-pens in case someone else might need one.

And Sarah, who is also paleo, let me sample some coconut and tapioca flour tortillas she had picked up for enchiladas for her family.

My pledge last year to get out and meet more friends who like to be in the outdoors has paid off in moments like this. Yes, I have to be more purposeful in order to stay in touch with old friends because they are still important to me but I have to be true to who I am NOW not who I was in the past with how I choose to spend most of my time.

These are friends I didn’t know 2 years ago. And now they are some of my favorite people to spend time with outdoors. I have had a chance to reflect on this process this week, how friends we have in our life often mirror what is important to us. And as what is it important to us changes, so do our friends. Whether we leave old friends behind or they simply take on smaller roles, it is inevitable that who we choose to surround ourselves with will have to evolve to match where we are going. Not where we have been.

My son will be 20 in a month and he is struggling with that time after high school when old friends may not be heading in the same direction he is but to leave them to find his own path can mean spending more time solo. That is, until what he wants to pursue now brings with it companions that share his new passions. Finding opportunities to make new friends means leaving his comfort zone and that is vary hard to do. It is hard for him to imagine when his friends now will not be the most important friends in his life.

This is a difficult thing to explain to a young adult, let me say. I talk with him about making new friends that fit better (AKA make better choices) but it’s hard for him to imagine what life would look like without the friends he has now and he is resistant to wisdom I share from my own experiences. Only time will help him see what the future holds and who will be there with him in it, I guess.

As for my day spent skipping work to make time outdoors and with friends, what I would have given to stay up there all day. But I had to be home in time for scrambling class that night, Elle was preparing for a baby shower this weekend and Sarah had a family expecting dinner. All good things must come to an end, often to make room for more good things.

But I know it won’t be long before we are out on the trail again, our mutual love for the outdoors guarantees it.