I thought I would give you a little update on my posts from last summer, She Died Doing What I Love and Beauty: Salve For The Soul. It is hard to believe it has already been a whole year, so much has happened in such a small amount of time.
Many of you know we lost a close family member in a tragic hiking accident last summer. My sister’s mother-in-law, Karen, fell to her death while on a day hike in the North Cascades and was most likely killed instantly.
It has been a long road for her husband, Bob, and the family as everyone is learning to live without Karen in their different ways. As the year has gone through its typical holidays and family celebrations, it was clear that someone very important was missing. Simple things like the routine of putting up Christmas decorations or not mailing a birthday card that you have sent for years can open a freshly healed wound.
But the one thing that has been uplifting to see is how Bob has been using hiking to help with his grief. I talked with Bob and asked him if it would be okay to share some of the pictures that he has been posting on Facebook in the last year that have made my heart smile and marvel at the magic that the trail and hiking can provide for a wounded soul.
He has been posting wonderful pictures of hikes he has been on with old and new friends, especially down in Palm Springs where he and Karen lived during the winter months.
The family’s Facebook feeds over the last year have been filled with these etchings of love as they have been out wandering as Karen would have been doing if she was still here. Time will erase these markers long before the memory of her and making them will.
Like many of us who have lost a loved one, we look for ways to carry on with them in spirit and to not forget them. Bob shared this spring about how he has been trail angeling for PCT hikers down in southern California. He had made some friends who live in Idyllwood, Dave and Christine, and caught the trail magic bug.
“Went for a hike with group. Cedar Springs up by Idyllwild. On the way to lunch afterwards I spotted these PCTers needing a ride to Idyllwild sorry, I skipped lunch with group but these guys weren’t sorry.”
Being a trail angel means offering assistance to hikers out on the trail, whether it is the Pacific Crest Trail or another trail where folks might be out trekking for along distance and need help with a ride to town, water in between natural sources or simply a cold drink or piece of fresh fruit. People who live at crossing points for long distance trails find themselves in a position to be a part of someone else’s journey by lending a hand or listening ear. And it can often go both ways.
Bob created some special bookmarks in memory of Karen and has been sharing his love of her with hikers he meets. He even posted about a couple he met that is thru-hiking the PCT, Todd and Donna, and they offered to carry the bookmark with them. You can read about their journey on their blog, One Dream One Path Four Feet (although it appears California is keeping them busy, their last post is from May). Now back home in Washington State, Bob is hoping to provide the same experience for hikers nearing the end of their journey to Canada.
“Gave a ride to the trailhead to 9 Happy PCTers this AM, including Todd and Donna carrying Karen’s photo.”
Grief can manifest itself in unique ways as there are so many different kinds of people. There were waterfalls of tears for both the loss and for the joy of remembering Karen and the legacy she has left behind. Seeing the beauty that she enjoyed all around us is like a constant hug from above. The death of a loved one leaves a permanent mark but the impact of life changes softens with time for most of us because we are continually offered ways to find joy and happiness in the midst of all the pain. Valleys have their place, but our hearts long to be high up on the hills.
Valleys have their place, but our hearts long to be up on the hills.
Tell me, what are some of the ways you have helped carry on the memory of a loved one or dealt with grief? How has “moving on” felt for you when you had never thought it would be possible?
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